Talk with your spouse about how you would have done things differently. Listen to your mate as you discuss together what to do that will benefit all of your family. Plan a different strategy for next year. Discuss what you did enjoy and rejoice in your successes.
Take your biological kids aside and discuss the holidays. Tell them how important it is for you to have all of your blended family together for the holidays, and for this family to be kind and friendly to each other. Discuss what went well, and what could have been done differently. Parents- don't forget the rude, disrespectful and unkind behavior should be disciplined immediately- no matter how old the child is- even adult children can be asked to leave your home when behaving badly.
It also may be time to get some counseling or blended family coaching. Reading a few good books, or talking to someone educated in blended and step families can give you and your mate insight into some new ideas for your step family issues.
Above all, rejoice in the fact that the holidays are over, and you and your family survived! Remember the good times, and know that even the bad memories are ones you may sit around the fire (hopefully) and laugh at next year.
I wish for you and your family a new start for 2011, and the best year ever!
Kindest Regards,
Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC
Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.
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