Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Step Families and Blended Family Summer Activities

Step Family News Special
BC Producer, Katie Distler, is looking for step families in which the couples are in their 50's.  She is going to do a news report on step families. If interested, email Shirley@BlendedFamilyAdvice.com and she will pass along the information.

Beautiful Step Family Photos and Summer time Tips for Your Blended Family
Have you seen the great photos of step families on The Blended and Step Family Resource Center website?  Come check out these beautiful step family photos.

Summertime tips for blended and step families:
  • With four teenagers, it's hard to get everyone together, especially when we only see two of them a couple of weekends a month. So we always make that Saturday "Family Cookout Time."  Everyone helps plan, prepare and make the meal.  Then we swim before they all run off to be with friends.
  • Spend the day with family having a water gun fight, slip n slide.. grilling out and making ice cream sundaes.
  • Don't forget to spend time with your spouse, the kids can play for a little while.
  • Any kind of craft or art project.
  • Encourage stepkids to call their biological mom or biological dad while on vacation. Their connection is very important. Have them send postcards or pick up little gifts for younger siblings that are not with them.
  • Rent a movie and have a family moving night.
  • Try not to over schedule when planning a holiday with the kids.  Leave time for goofing around at a playground, running through a sprinkler, going for a walk or a swim, or playing a pick up game of baseball or soccer.  I have found that doing these things really makes the kids happy, and they don't require a lot of money or planning, just your time, which is what they want most of all.
  • Anything that's free!  We scan the local newspaper for free family concerts, movies, and fairs.
  • Camping is a great way for a blended family to spend time together. You work together, depend on one another, laugh and create memories and shared experiences. (And we have a rule: no electronics.)
  • Stay hydrated! Summer is a hot time in many states and drinking plenty of fluids is important!
  • Don't forget bedtime- cranky kids are not happy kids.
  • A family that plays together stays together!
  • You are going to forget something, the kids are going to fight and bicker, it might be raining, you may be feeling the world is against you, but take a minute to enjoy these little moments and treasure them for all they are worth, even in the times that all seems not to be going well – realize at least you have you family together right there, to love, and that’s all that matters in the end.
  • We set aside an hour, each day, for summer reading. I read to the little ones, and the older ones read to themselves.
  • Since we have so many little ones, I was nervous to get a swimming pool in the backyard, so I gathered a bunch of large tupperware containers, plastic storage boxes (like the ones you put under the bed) and gave the kids the hose. They spent hours filling 'em, dumping 'em, floating different toys in them, or using them for personal outdoor bathtubs!

  • When on a road trip, we rent audio books, and listen to them as we drive.  It makes great conversation when we stop to eat, and keeps the kids quiet while we are driving  



Friday, July 16, 2010

MTV casting for a stepfamily with teenagers

The Step Family Project
Are you a soon-to-be or recent stepparent with teenage kids
on both sides?  Are your kids creative, outgoing and ready to have some fun documenting the experience of blending families?

Our show will be told from your kid’s points of view as they film all of the action that’ll go on in your new lives, all living under one roof!  Armed with a flip-cam, this is their chance to show the audience that it’s not so easy to blend into a new family!  You and your new husband are along for the ride, too, as we’ll see your reactions to your kids as they figure it all out!

For more info send us photos and an email describing your story!  We want to know about your personality, your issues and your family dynamic!

CONTACT:
Stepfamily Casting Department
(626) 535-0868 x 316

To apply for the show send your story to:
There is compensation for participation

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Blended Families Matter- Happy July 4th

Happy July 4th, our USA Independence Day, from our family to yours.
Shirley Cress Dudley, director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center

Friday, July 2, 2010

Son uses Step Dad's Last Name in School

A dad recently asked:
My son is using his stepdad's last name in school.  My ex-wife is a teacher there, and she said that it is not illegal to have an "alias" last name at school, and she wants her (my) son to use her new husband's last name. I want him to use his rightful last name- what can I do?

Shirley Cress Dudley responds:
This is a tough one. It's disheartening to hear that your child is using the new husband's last name, when you are still the biological father (and I'm assuming scheduling visits and paying child support.)  I understand your frustration.

I can see, though, why your ex-wife would want to use her new husband's last name with your son.  It makes is easier for the other faculty members to know that she is the mother of your son, and other students will be aware too. It's wonderful that she is proud of him and wants to be associated, at school, with her son.

But- I agree with you- unless they have changed his name legally, your son should be called by his correct last name. Call the school principal or vice principal and state your concern. Inform them of your son's correct legal last name and ask for him to be enrolled and addressed by that name. Also, while you are talking with them, make sure they have your correct contact information.

Ask for a school calendar so you can keep up with special events, "visit the school" day, and parent/teacher meeting days.

Blended families are tough, but you are still his father and have a right to be active in his life, and for him to carry your name. Don't be discouraged, be proactive and contact the school in your friendliest and cooperative voice- and I'm sure you will be able to get things changed.

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC
Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center
http://www.BlendedFamilyAdvice.com